The communication is one of the most important elements in any relationship. It depends on it that the relationship is lasting and satisfactory for both.
Most relationships start with the idea of ”forever” without realizing that the number one cause of breakups and divorces is poor communication.
If there are also children in common, communication becomes even more important, because parents are raising children who will become adults by following the guidelines they have learned at home.
If you are wondering about what to do when there is no communication with your partner, our Psychologists, specialists in couples rehab.
What to do when there is no communication with your partner?
The communication is the vital nutrient in every relationship. Speaking, making known what we feel, think or do, is one of the keys to success to succeed in love.
But this is only half of the equation. The same or even more difficult is knowing how to listen and understand our partner. For communication in the couple to be effective and not just argument, we have to be willing to listen and understand our partner.
Talking without fighting makes we know each other better. By talking and communicating as a couple we will be able to promote the bonds and bonds of union and affection.
After a long work of research and analysis, these are, according to our Psychologists specializing in couple’s therapy, the 10 most effective communication techniques for couples.
1. Avoid talking at the same time, listen first
Although it may seem obvious, when emotions rise, each person wants to express their point of view and a power struggle comes into play that we are not aware of. At that point, neither of you is really interested in the conversation or its resolution.
That is why it is important to listen and not interrupt. The constant interruption can suggest that the other person has nothing important to say or is wrong.
Remember that the reason for the conversation is to listen to the other’s point of view. Resist the urge to interrupt.
2. Pause and think before speaking
If you feel excessively angry, angry, or stressed, stop. Take a deep breath and ask yourself the following question: What evidence confirms what I think?
Trying to communicate when we have the irritable mood will only be an obstacle in our relationship. Better to pause, calm down and talk at another time or when we are calmer.
So you can think about what to say. If you don’t, you can say something you regret, and the other person may never forgive you. Pausing is the best way to avoid misunderstandings and growing conflicts that can affect our relationship.
Do not lose sight of the fact that the objective of the communication is that the bond of the relationship is closer and does not break. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Try to understand why they may feel this way. Do you have all the facts? Does he just want your attention?
Regardless of the problem, treat his or her feelings as if they are important, because they are important to him or her.
- Know when and where to communicate
It is important to know that there are places or times when they are not suitable to talk about certain topics. Analyze what you want to say and when is the best time to do it, taking into account how the couple is.
5. Avoid criticizing
When communicating with your partner, try to make a concerted effort to avoid personal criticism. This includes refraining from put-downs, name calling, and negative non-verbal language, such as rolling your eyes.
Criticism makes the person defensive, which significantly inhibits the listening process and can lead to increased anger and feelings of hurt.
6. Sincerity and honesty
A conversation is between two people, silence is not allowed.
If your partner speaks to you, respond with transparency and honesty. Ask questions if you need clarification. If you don’t feel like talking, avoid going out or not answering. If you don’t think the time is right, let him know that you need time to think. Remember that you are together in this relationship.
7. Use open questions
Have you noticed those rhetorical questions, like ” Do you ever stop talking and listen?
Saying it may feel good at that moment, while releasing some pent-up frustration or anger. But, in the long run, it doesn’t help to fix the problem.
Instead, you can ask open-ended questions when you have concerns.
8. Body language is a non-verbal communication technique
Although non-verbal language is something to be observed, speak out loud. When your partner is talking, looking into his eyes means that your partner has your full attention. Leaning forward means you are interested in what they are saying, diverting eye contact is an indication of dishonesty. Pay attention to your partner’s body language.
9. Respect: the basis of every relationship
Never lose sight of the fact that you are both on the same team and there is no reason to disrespect or fight, there will always be another problem in the future.
The couples who learn to solve problems together are the most successful. All problems will have no solution because you will not always think alike. But the relationship is bigger than any problem.
10. Seek help from a professional
Many couples seek counseling to play a neutral role in an important decision. And it’s a pretty good idea.
A third person can bring a different perspective to the situation, even more so if they are an expert couples professional such as a couples psychologist.